The 7th of February, is a date etched in our family’s memory forever, as it marks the anniversary of our beautiful niece’s passing 7 years ago when, at the age of 20, the unthinkable happened; she committed suicide. Without doubt the hardest part of coping with her death is seeing the pain in her parent’s and brother’s eyes. Although time has passed and some healing has occurred, their emotional pain is still evident and present.
Coping when someone dies—especially in the case of suicide—is particularly difficult. A certain stigma is associated with suicide so it can be hard for loved-ones to talk about it. Different cultures and religious views can make the acceptance of what has taken place even more traumatic. Fear of what has happened to the ‘soul’ of the one who has ended their life and guilty feelings—often held by parents, partners or loved-ones, thinking they could have prevented the death from occurring—weigh heavily.
The event of our niece dying this way and because some friends and relatives of ours have taken their lives, I have spent time asking Spirit about suicide. And like so many times, when my heart has been heavy with grief, I have been lifted by Spirit’s words of truth—every time. Their words bring more than solace and comfort; they provide a greater perspective to life—here and beyond.
I’d like to share some points with you about suicide that has come to light in my mind, as a result of Spirit’s words and wisdom.
What is Death?
When I first questioned Spirit about the physical trauma that someone undergoes when taking their own life, the first point they told me was: how we die is not important because death is simply a means, a way in which our spirit is able to exit the physical body.
This information was, for me, life-changing, as, like most people, my thoughts on suicide were often focused on the trauma and unpleasant ways in which the person took their life. But Spirit gave me a different perspective which showed me that those things were not of high importance. They then went on to explain that, regardless of how someone dies, the important thing is that we project love to our departed loved-one because our love greatly assists them in adjusting to the energy vibrations that they find themselves in on the other side of life. This is a great help to the person who has passed over.
There are no accidents
The second ‘light bulb moment’ that I experienced was when Spirit, stated: There are no accidents. If the person was not meant to exit their physical body in the way they chose and at the precise time that it took place, something would have occurred to prevent the suicide from happening.
This really blew my mind because it means that the blame that so many people carry in their hearts as a result of their loved-one committing suicide, is … unnecessary as, in truth, there is no fault; there is no blame. All happened exactly as it was meant to happen.
We only see and know part of the picture
Through automatic writing, which is the way that I receive communication from Spirit, I was also informed that, whilst we live in the physical world under the direction of our conscious mind, we see only a glimpse of the big picture of life; a great deal goes on that we don’t see—especially at a spiritual level. Whilst we are in physical form, we are not privy to all of the information regarding our own lives—including past and present; nor are we privy to all of the information about other people’s lives—including past and present.
This is a really important point. We try to understand ‘why’ our loved-one made the decision to take their life, yet, we don’t have all the information. We may have some information about them pertaining to the physical level but we don’t have any information at the spiritual level. Whilst most suicides occur either as a result of mental illness—depression being the most common—or stress—inability to cope with life—we must not make the assumption purely from what we observe at a physical level. We believe that the cause is related to this life experience, but there may be other factors at play. For example, past life experiences that need to be played out in this life or spiritual lessons that need to be worked out in the physical realm.
We are not privy to each individual’s spiritual contract before they take on a body, so how can we know the full picture of why suicide has been scripted by them in this lifetime?
There are many reasons why a soul may choose suicide and that decision is not always related to their present lifetime. Whatever the reasons for them making that choice, the end result is always the same: spiritually, they learn and grow from the experience—as do all the people whose lives were affected by that particular person taking their life. And the main growth and learning that needs to occur for all who have been affected by the suicide: love, compassion, forgiveness and non-judgement.
Does this mean that when we find life ‘all too difficult’ it’s alright to abdicate all of our responsibilities and choose to end our life under the guise that we will learn? Each time that we incarnate into physical form, our mission is to deal with the ups and downs of the life that we have scripted. There are consequences in choosing to take our physical life—but that requires a whole lot more information which I can share in a separate blog, if there is sufficient interest.
How best we can help
If a loved-one or a friend of yours has died due to suicide, take comfort in Spirit’s words. Know that there was nothing you or anyone could have done at the time to prevent it from occurring. It was their time and, they chose to experience suicide in this lifetime—for reasons not fully known to us—as their particular method their way to exit the physical body and set their spirit free.
As difficult as it is to live without them and to cope with the trauma of their death, we have been given a directive by Spirit as to how best we can help them and that is to give them our love. Our love helps them to adjust to the other side of life; it assists them to learn what they need to learn as a result of the choice they made; it supports and nourishes them spiritually; it’s the best gift we can give them.
Another aspect to suicide is that it provides the opportunity for us to envelope the one who has taken their life—and the lives of those affected by the suicide—with love.
I will conclude this blog with two messages from Spirit that will shed more light on what I have been talking about. Both of these messages have been channelled, independently and at different dates and times. The first message was received by my husband, Tim, during one of our healing meditations; the second message I received through automatic writing.
Messages from Spirit
Part of the message received during the healing meditation
A personal message that I received on 25th April
