balanced life Archives - Lightwords - Life Coaching, Healing, Wellness

12 Sep

Live With Equanimity

Choosing to live with equanimity—or even-mindedness—is a great step that improves our life experience.

By taking a calmer approach to life we feel better; we deal with situations more effectively and open ourselves up to higher guidance.

Here is a message from Spirit that talks about the power of equanimity in our lives.

Spirit’s Message

“Dearest ones, the toils of life are transitory experiences that move you forward along the path. And as you move, episodes both joyful and sorrowful occur.

All is best taken with equanimity. Remove yourself from judging situations as to whether you are pleased with them or not and take all life experiences with equanimity. In this way you open yourself up to receiving guidance from your Higher-self. Your ego has less power and less control over you when you do not judge.

Stay calm, stay poised. Move deeper into the loving relationship that you have with Divine Love. Open your mind to the possibility of solutions to your problems.

Stay even-tempered, lessen ego control and you will receive guidance intuitively that will help you through all of life experiences.

Equanimity brings strength, peace, direction and serenity.

Blessings and Love,

Spirit”

Equanimity: Connect to the peace within

Whilst, at times, it can be hard to stay even-minded—particularly during testing times—a helpful technique is to focus on the breath. The following exercise restores a sense of calmness to our being.

It goes like this:

Pause for a moment… then take a deep breath—preferably one from your belly—and then hold the breath for a second or two. Now slowly exhale, ensuring that the exhalation of your breath is calm and very, very slow. Sink into the feeling of peace that emerges from the slow exhalation of the breath.

Repeat the process 3 times.

Taking time to quieten the ego and to disengage from the emotional body is a helpful strategy towards establishing peace, balance and equanimity in our lives.

Three-step approach to living with more equanimity

Next time you are faced with an upsetting situation, immediately recall the word ‘equanimity’ to mind. This will remind you to deal with the situation with a more even-minded approach. Then, do the above breath exercise which will help to settle the mind and reduce agitated feelings.

Once you feel calmer, take a moment to go inwards and ask for guidance on how best to manage the situation at hand.

This three-step approach is a simple strategy that helps work our way towards living life with equanimity.

This Month’s Video

This 3 minute relaxation video will help reconnect you to the peace and calm of your deeper-self.

20 Oct

Making Memories

The last few weeks, my siblings and I have been discussing a family holiday. We have decided that in 2016 we are going to visit the islands off the coast of Sicily—the birthplace of our maternal grandparents. The opportunity to spend time together as a family—to trace our roots and be immersed in the culture and heritage that has been so much a part of our lives is, indeed, exciting. Special moments such as these make lasting memories!

During discussions with my family, it made me think about life and the importance of creating loving memories. In our fast-paced world, often we’re busy making money—not memories!

Whilst work is an essential part of living, we need to balance life. Taking time to have fun, to be with loved ones—sharing, caring and enjoying moments together—forms a great part in the enjoyment of life.

Be Kind to Yourself

With our busy lives it’s easy to push ourselves too hard. Letting our hair down a little, attending to some self-care strategies are other ways in which we can create loving memories.

Life can change in a moment. Therefore, I believe that it’s best to live so that when it’s time to reflect back on our life, we can look back on it knowing that we have created lots of loving memories for others and for ourselves.

Call To Action

This week, go out of your way to create positive loving memories. Stuck for ideas? Here are some suggestions …

Spend quality time with your children, a friend or an elderly person.

Go ‘offline’ take a rest from emails and social media for a while and take yourself away—to the beach or a place that fills you with joy.

Spend time with your parents. Surprise them, treat them. Let them know how much you love them.

Be spontaneous. Most times, our spontaneous decision to do ‘this’ or ‘that’ creates great memories.

Be mindful in the present moment. It’s not always necessary to always be ‘doing’ in order to create good memories. Watching—observing—can create a special moment, a fond memory.

Long term goals …

Get together with family, friends or loved ones and plan a memorable event.

There are many things that you can do which will create pleasant memories. So start making some great memories today.

As the expression goes …Carpe Diem … seize the day!

24 Mar

Treat Yourself To A Retreat

My sister, Margaret, and I, recently ran a three day live-in retreat. It was a privilege to be with a group of like-minded women who took time out of their busy lives in order to nourish their body, mind and spirit.

Whilst running the retreat, it really brought home to me the healing benefits of a retreat. With so many daily demands, now, more than ever, it’s important that we take time out. There is great value in slowing down for a while to just be with ourselves; time spent not ‘rushing,’ not ‘doing,’ instead, letting go of our duties so we can have the time to go within.

The Benefits of a Spiritual Retreat

A spiritual retreat not only refreshes and revitalises our energy but, more importantly, it provides the opportunity to rekindle and deepen our relationship with The Divine. Silence, meditation, contemplation—these key practices, which retreat space provides—enable us to hear our inner-voice and the voice of The Divine. Through ‘time out’ we attain a degree of spiritual renewal.

When we are caught up in the daily routines of life it is difficult to see beyond the happenings of the day. Time away on retreat helps us to move from head space to heart space and this brings balance back to our lives.

You don’t necessarily have to travel far to experience a retreat and it is possible to plan and create your own personal retreat. For example, you could choose to set aside a full day, drive to a nature-filled tranquil location where you can spend time in silent meditation and contemplation. You could bring inspirational reading material with you and reflect upon the words of inspiration; you could write your innermost thoughts in a journal or bring along drawing materials and allow the voice of your inner-self to be expressed through art. There are many options available so let your creativity guide you when planning your sacred day.

Whether you are attending an organised retreat or your own personal retreat, there is one golden rule: leave the techno-world behind. This means, disengaging from social media and leaving your ipad or laptop at home. Let go of the constant need for communication that drives our modern day lives and instead be fully present with life, with God.

Retreats are a powerful vehicle for reflection, connection and restoration of our spirit.

Make an investment in your wellbeing and attend—or create—a spiritual retreat. You deserve it and your spirit yearns for quiet time and connection.

A retreat is a wonderful gift to yourself!

If you would like to attend an organised retreat, I will be running a live-in spiritual retreat in Shoalwater, June 12-15, 2015. If you are interested in attending, please contact me as soon as possible to register your interest as numbers are limited.

Here are the Testimonials from our most recent retreat.

22 Jul

My Number One Stress Management Tip!

As a life coach, I often find the need to advise a client that, in order to better manage stress in their life, they need to take a little time out and just be still. When I say this, nine times out of ten, the client’s response is, “…but I don’t have the time to do that!”

This reply, which is most often expressed by women—particularly those who work as well as run a family—concerns me as we all need to make time for stillness in our lives because in order to ‘be there’ for others and live happy and healthy lives, we need to look after ourselves as well!

Let’s talk about stress. The reason why we feel stressed is because we lack peace. It’s the lack of peace-filled feelings that we experience in our body and in our mind that causes us to feel out-of-sorts and stressed.

Therefore, if we want to reduce the amount of stress in our lives, it follows that we need to increase the amount of peace in our lives. The easiest and best way to do this is to use practices that help us to feel the peace that resides within our spirit.

Our spirit is our centre of peace and when we tap into the peace of our spirit we become less stressed. It only takes a few minutes to immerse ourselves in the peace of our spirit and once we experience these feelings, we become calmer and more able to manage our worries with less angst.

You don’t have to find endless hours in the day in order to experience the deep peace of the spirit. There are many simple exercises that you can use. The following are some examples of practices that can help relax the body and mind—so allowing our attention to be drawn into the beauty and peace of our spirit:

Listening to meditative music
Being in nature or looking at scenes of nature
Meditation
Reading inspirational material
Praying
Singing mantras or hymns

The first step is to look for practices that fill you with a sense of calmness and peace and then make the commitment to practise them— daily!

As I’ve already mentioned, you don’t have to allocate a lot of time to achieve this. For example, you can meditate for ten minutes—there’s no need to sit for an hour if time is scarce. It’s far better to do a short session regularly than not at all. There are many short meditations and relaxation audios available online— free of charge—that you can use, including a ten minute relaxation audio posted in my blog on 01.07.14. As you relax or meditate, become conscious of the feeling of peace that floods your being and how beautiful it feels.

If scenes of nature fill you with peace, find ten minutes each day during which you devote your time to being in nature. Watch the sunset; look at the sky or stars, or go online and find images of nature. As you look at an image or a scene become aware of how your body feels when you do this—relaxed, peaceful, calm.

The two practices that I have just mentioned are simple and they do not require the expenditure of a lot of time or money. All that is required is that you perform an act of self-love by taking the time to experience the calm feelings that are an inherent part of your being. When peace becomes our focus of attention, feelings of stress and anxiety are reduced.

The boon of engaging practices such as meditation or relaxation techniques is that when you find your stress levels rising, you can reduce them by using your memory to revive the feelings of peace that you experience when undertaking the practice. To do this, simply call to mind the meditation or relaxation technique that you have been practising; as you relive the memory, allow the feelings associated with the meditation/relaxation to pervade your being. You will be surprised at how quickly and easily you will be able to let go of stress and tension in your body.

We all need time to de-stress and top up our reserves and we can best do this by connecting to our centre of peace—our soul or spirit. This is the best stress management technique that we can engage because the peace of our spirit has a calming effect on our mind and body. As a result, we feel less emotional, less drained and as our body feels mental tension diminishing, it relaxes. Also, when we take the time to connect to our spirit—we feel whole, complete and in harmony with our body and with life. These good feelings lift how we feel and they give us mental strength which enables us to cope better.

By uniting with the peace of our spirit we nourish all aspects of our being.

Make soul care your number one priority when you need to manage stress in your life.

Extra tip: The following phrase is a great reminder of what to do next time you are feeling stressed. Just think of the word STRESS and use each letter that forms the word to remind you to: Stop Thinking andReconnect to the Energy of my Spirit Self. This simple statement is a great way to get back on track!

As always, I look forward to your comments.

01 Jul

Reducing Stress In Your Life – Part 1

Here’s a story …

“A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they’d be asked the “half empty or half full” question. Instead, with a smile on her face, she enquired: “How heavy is this glass of water?”

Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.

She replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralysed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.”

She continued, “The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralysed – incapable of doing anything.”

Remember to put the glass down.”

Wise words indeed for, if we do not take the time to let go of stress, our energy and zest for life diminishes. As a life coach, I see many clients whose health is affected by stress, so firstly, I’d like to talk a little bit about stress—what is it and how do we recognise if we are feeling stressed?

Stress is a natural human response to the pressures that we face daily. Contrary to what many people think stress is not always bad for us; it can be good. For example, stress can motive and drive us to perform tasks; it can increase our ability to be alert, or to be resourceful when facing life’s challenges.

However, when stress becomes counterproductive to our lives that’s when it becomes unhealthy. Here are some tell tail signs that our wellbeing is being affected by stress: we don’t sleep well; we feel out of control or teary all the time; we constantly feel ‘on edge;’ we find it difficult to concentrate or make simple everyday decisions.

Stress is non-selective. It can affect anybody, at any age, at any time and what is stressful for one person may not necessarily be stressful for another. Work pressures, financial difficulties, family issues and relationship problems are examples of issues that commonly cause stress in our lives.

An important point to note is that when our mind is stressed our body becomes affected. Our mind and body are not separate—they each affect the other. Sweating, insomnia, pounding heart rate are examples of short term physical effects that can play out as a result of stress; and long term physical effects can include high blood pressure; generalised aches and pains and weight changes, either a loss or gain in weight.

So, in relation to the story at the beginning of this article, what can we do that will assist in putting the glass down when we find ourselves carrying stress for long periods of time?

In next week’s blog I will provide you with a list of practical points that can assist you with stress reduction. This week, however, I want to give you one technique that will enable you to let go of the glass of water and release stress for a while.

This technique is the single, most effective step that you can employ to reduce stress in your life. Why? Because it will do more than relax you; it will take you deeper, allowing you to experience the tranquility and peaceful feelings that reside within your spirit. Drawing on and reconnecting to the peace of your spirit is the best method for reducing stress in your life.

To help you achieve this, I have put a relaxation audio together. I recommend listening to the audio every day, ideally each evening before you retire to bed. You can also use it during the day in times when you are feeling stressed, tired, overwhelmed or when you feel that you lack mental clarity.

The relaxation audio will calm your mind, reduce tension in your body and re-charge your batteries. You’ll get the most out of listening to the audio if you find a quiet place in which you can sit comfortably or lie down. Do not listen to it if you are driving or operating machinery.

Remember that the clue to both managing and preventing stress in our lives lies in reconnecting to our deeper selves. When we are in harmony with our spirit we develop strength and peace of mind. And when we have peace of mind, we can deal with the stressors of life more effectively.

They’ll be more tips next week but for now enjoy the audio. Feel free to share this blog with others who may need a little help with stress in their lives.

You can save and download the MP3 file to your computer by clicking on the link below:

10 Minute Stress Buster

or listen to the audio here:

18 Mar

Meditation The Ultimate Soul Food

“In stillness you can feel the magnitude, love and peace of The Universe. Peace comes from stillness.”

Often I ask my clients to engage in the following exercise … I invite them to schedule an appointment with themselves! That is, to pen a time in their diaries, daily schedule or on their ‘to do list’ that is earmarked just for them; time where they can be still and experience quietness.

Everyone needs a little quiet time—time for reflection and peace. In the many roles that we play daily—employee/employer, partner, parent, child—we are kept occupied and busy. Constant ‘busyness’ is not healthy. It places undue stress on our body, it prevents us from maintaining a balanced life and, worst still, it distracts us from tapping into our spirit.

Your spirit is your centre of peace and harmony. Connecting with it—particularly through the practice of meditation—allows you to experience inner-peace, solitude and clarity. All parts of our being need to be fed food that is nourishing and meditation is a complete food source because it benefits our whole being. It relaxes our body, it takes us beyond the mind into the realms of peace and calmness where we can feel the love of The Divine; feel the expansiveness of life and the love that lies in the heartbeat of life.

Taking time out for ourselves restores our energy levels and, meditation, in particular, is practice that completely nourishes our mind, body and spirit. It’s the ultimate food for the soul.

Call to action: Every day this week schedule an appointment with yourself and take some quiet time out for you.

How can you do this? Listen to my guided meditation, which I have created for the purpose of helping you to achieve good soul care. My meditation is only seven minutes long, and the seven minutes can bring balance to your life, improve your wellbeing and reconnect you to the joy and peacefulness of your spirit. Listen to it for the next seven days and notice the positive change in how you feel.

Make time to nourish your spirit. Good soul care is good self-care!

Here is my Light Meditation audio designed to feed your soul!

Light Meditation by Helen Martino-Bailey

I’d love to know what you think of it so please drop me a line.