Stress Management Archives - Page 2 of 6 - Lightwords

01 Sep

Master Your Mind

Our mind is powerful. What we think and how we think affects our health and state of wellbeing.

Thoughts that come and go, like passing clouds, have little effect on our body. Thoughts that we repeatedly stew over—worry about and can’t let go—lower our mood and vitality.

Take charge

It’s not always easy to maintain a calm and healthy mind but a step that can improve the quality of your thoughts is to tell your mind … “I want to take charge of the way I think!”

Most of us don’t do this. We simply give our mind ‘free reign,’ allowing it to generate thoughts about ‘whatever’ and ‘whenever’ it wants. Consequently, throughout the day, our thoughts roam all over the place often focusing on the negative aspects of our lives.

Our mind needs direction; it needs watching and guidance. Good management skills help to maintain a healthy mind and these skills need to be engaged frequently and consistently.

Good mind-management includes:

Telling your mind how you prefer to think: positively.

Directing your mind so that your thoughts mainly focus on what is happening in the present moment—as opposed to the past and future.

Initiating ‘peace’ moments—creating downtime from the mental stresses of the day.

Listening to your thoughts and, when you catch them wandering off track, taking action that lifts your thinking.

Support yourself

In order to take charge of your thoughts and keep them headed in the right direction, apply the following practices:

Imagery techniques that support and promote positive thoughts and feelings.

Draw on your creative mind and visualise scenes that are positive. Here is an example of a visualisation that can assist to let go of worry …

Imagine yourself standing next to a gentle flowing stream. As you admire the beautiful scenery around you, gather all of the troublesome thoughts and feelings that you have been holding in your heart and mind—gather them into a ball. Now place the ball into the gentle stream and watch it drift away … slowly … slowly disappearing.

Now see a majestic bird soar and glide over the stream. Watch the bird flying gracefully above you and, as you do, feel the freedom—the feelings of peace that envelop you.

Each time you catch yourself in worry mode think of the above image or, alternatively, create your own. Imagery is a powerful way to release and transform negative thoughts into positive ones.

Spiritual practices that bring peace to your life and improve your sense of wellbeing.

When our soul is nourished our mind feels calm and peaceful. Practices such as meditation, mindfulness, reading spiritual material, listening to uplifting hymns or songs, guidance through inspirational cards—all support our goal of maintaining a positive frame of mind.

Service activities.

Sometimes the fastest way to shift and lift our moods is to reach out and help someone else. The joy derived from helping another raises our heart and lifts our mind!

Take the challenge

Limit the time you spend worrying each day by choosing to be in charge of your thoughts.

You are the master of your mind and you can choose to think positive, life-affirming thoughts.

One thing is true … if you don’t take charge of the thoughts that occupy your mind, the thoughts will take charge of you!

28 Jul

Overcoming Obstacles

Throughout life, obstacles appear on our pathway. Sometimes the obstacles that we have to deal with are small—like rocks on the path that we work our way around. At other times, however, they can be large—like huge boulders that stop us in our tracks!

Large or small, obstacles serve a purpose. Obstacles provide the opportunity for personal and spiritual development. This is the reason why such things occur.

Each time an obstacle presents on our pathway, we are given the opportunity of putting into practice spiritual tenets such as love, kindness, forgiveness, gratitude and compassion. We are given the chance to let go of our ego; to trust our spiritual nature; to draw on and trust the energy of The Divine.

Navigating our way round obstacles can be tricky. Here are some tips that will help to make it a little easier the next time life appears to place an obstacle in your pathway.

Accept that there is an obstacle

Problems don’t go away by ignoring them. Whether the problem that we are facing happens to be a small rock or a large boulder the same two options present. We have the choice to work our way through the obstacle or, we can choose to turn our back on it. If we choose the latter, the obstacle doesn’t disappear; it simply blocks our pathway, preventing us from moving forward!

Therefore, it’s best to accept that there is an issue at hand and then you can start the process of navigating your way through it.

Lessen the emotion

When unexpected obstacles occur usually our emotions take over. Whilst emotions are a natural response to challenging situations, emotional reactions are not often productive.

When possible, it is better to step back from our emotional body and see the situation from a greater perspective—through spiritual eyes.

To do this, take ‘time out’ before you take action and seek guidance from within. Push the emotions aside for a while and, turn inward, to the deeper part of your being. The wisdom of your higher-self will help you to solve the situation or, at the very least, it will guide you towards managing it more effectively.

Once we grasp the circumstances from a spiritual perspective we begin to identify the true relevance and significance of the events that have taken place. When we are caught up in emotion, we can often be left floundering without a solution in sight.

Stop blaming

The common response to a difficult situation is to lay blame directed either at others or ourselves. If we follow a spiritual path we will know that nothing happens by chance; nothing happens without a reason. Blaming others—or ourselves—for not responding, observing, preventing or controlling the situation serves no purpose as it keeps us stuck behind the big boulder!

There’s no gain when we blame.

Put it into perspective

Sometimes obstacles are not as bad as our mind makes them out to be.

Primarily, we need to determine if we are we making things out to be bigger than they really are because our emotions can blow things out of proportion. If the situation is, indeed, a difficult one, then focus on taking the best steps that will help you to resolve it.

The 5 Questions

Asking yourself the following questions in relation to the obstacle that you are dealing with is helpful:

What can I change?

What can’t I change?

How can I gain better understanding with regard to these circumstances?

What spiritual practices can I draw on to help me move through this obstacle?

What is the spiritual lesson in this situation?

By asking yourself these questions, you will gain clarity and direct your focus of attention towards managing the situation from a spiritual perspective—as opposed to an emotional one.

Whenever your thoughts wander; whenever emotionally you feel that you’re spiralling out of control, repeat the action of asking yourself the above questions.

Seek Guidance

Often talking to people can help us to find answers to our problems. You may have a close friend who has successfully dealt with and overcome a similar circumstance to the one that you are experiencing. Talking to them can be helpful.

Alternatively, engage professional people such as therapists, coaches to help guide you towards overcoming the obstacle.

Conclusion

Whilst we can’t control life and all of its challenges, we can find better ways to work through the obstacles of life. Whatever the challenge in front of us may be, one thing is for sure; drawing on the spiritual practices and philosophies of love and forgiveness will always help us to climb over the obstacles that lay across our pathway.

07 Jul

What Makes You Smile?

As I sit at my desk about to write this blog I can’t help but smile. Outside my window a wattle bird happily darts in and out of the native bush that it’s feeding on. With its beak perfectly designed to capture the sweet nectar of the flowers, I marvel at ingenuity of The Great Creator. And then, a moment later, my attention is drawn to my neighbour who is walking her children home from school. With a dog and three children in tow she’s acting the fool whilst singing a song; the children are laughing and singing with her.

Every day there are things happening around us that if we take the time to notice them, they light up our face with a smile. Unfortunately, however, most of the time our attention is focused elsewhere—commonly on our problems, thoughts and worries.

If you want an easy technique that will help you to enjoy life more and improve your life experience, then all you have to do is pay more attention to experiences that make you smile!

Experiences—moments you see during the day and activities that you do which make you smile. Paying more attention to the positive things that take place in life is helpful and enriching. The events that we witness or undertake do not need to be on a grand scale; it’s usually the simple things that bring the most joy.

Here are some of the things that caused me to smile today:

Children playing hide and seek

The dog next door trying to get out of being put on a lead (she loves to roam freely whenever she can)

An elderly couple holding hands whilst shopping

A baby beaming from his pram; his smile melting the hearts of many passers-by

Here are some of the activities that put a smile on my dial.

Played with our pet bird Bella

Ate healthily

Walked to the shop—instead of driving there—so I could exercise and spend time in nature

Read before I fell asleep

You’ll find, the less complicated the activities are, the easier it is to smile!

In our driven world, it’s easy to forget that one way to create a happier life is to … set your focus on experiences that make you smile! A smile has the power to raise and nourish the heart, mind and soul.

Call To Action

This week, make it your mission to observe and engage activities that cause you to smile. Your beauty shines brightly when you wear a smile!

19 May

Simple Pleasures Heal

Recently, I caught up with a girlfriend for her birthday. We enjoyed a morning tea together in a garden café. The joy of being surrounded by beautiful plants, water features and the sounds of wind chimes as we sipped our coffee was both a treat and delight to the heart, soul and senses. There were many moments when neither of us spoke; we simply sat soaking up the beauty of the garden and the preciousness of the moment.

During our time together, I reflected on how much of life’s enjoyment is contained in simple pleasures yet, how often we struggle to find the time to indulge in the simple things of life.

Constantly juggling work and home life, being subjected to phone messages, texting, emails and social media, it appears that we have forgotten the joy of just being in the moment. Worst still, the weekends—which are meant to be relaxing and restful—so often are full and busy. There doesn’t seem to be much ‘down time’ in our lives anymore.

Simple pleasures play an important role in helping to maintain a healthy state of wellbeing for they assist us to find solace and comfort in the midst of the busy-ness and craziness around us. They enable us to feel peace within and encourage us to reflect on the important things in life—such as spending quality time with those we love. Simple pleasures bring balance to life and this, alone, is a valid reason for us to place importance on ensuring that we make time to enjoy the simple things that life has to offer.

Unless we make the effort to slow down a little and deliberately take time out to enjoy life’s simple pleasures we will continue to feel out of balance with life.

Call To Action

Here are some suggestions that will help you to experience the joy of simple pleasures: relax in a deck chair in your backyard; put on your walking shoes and stroll through one of your favourite parks; take a drive to the beach or the hills; pack a picnic lunch in the park and have fun with your children; spend a day in a peaceful spot that only you know about. Stay for a long time or for a short time … it doesn’t matter, just be present in the moment and enjoy. Switch off from life for a while and indulge your senses with the peace that simple pleasures bring.

Life is a gift. You are a gift. Nourish your soul and bring balance to life by making time in your life for simple pleasures. It’s worthwhile, it’s wonderful … it’s healing!

05 May

Live A Quality Life

“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”

Oscar Wilde

With our lives governed by time, work commitments and daily pressures, many of us find ourselves existing – instead of living.

In order to live well, we need to strive for a quality life. A quality life involves ‘life management’ as opposed to ‘time management.’

When we focus on improving the way we manage life, the time spent living is better managed!

For the most part, a quality life involves removing things from our life instead of adding things to it. It’s about simplifying and prioritising that which is important to our wellbeing.

Here are some suggestions that can help you live a better quality life:

Remove from your life regrets, resentments and bitterness. These energies will steal your life away.

Reduce commitments and duties that are unnecessary. When we try to juggle too many things or over-commit ourselves, our enjoyment of life is diminished.

Let go of ‘sweating the small stuff.’ Fretting over small things consumes a lot of personal energy and time.

Remove impatience. Impatience is the thief of calm feelings.

Add to your life by focusing on your personal values. To help identify them make a list of values that are meaningful to you, e.g. integrity, joy, peace. From your list, prioritise the ‘Top 5’ then assess and see if you are managing your life through these values. If not, look at ways in which you can.

Your personal values are the qualities that nourish your deeper self and make living worthwhile.

Sometimes we think we need to put more into life in order to get more out of it when, in fact, the opposite is true. Letting go of things that are unhelpful to our wellbeing and placing more importance on simplicity and inner peace, is the key to living life well.

28 Apr

You Can Say No

Do you find it difficult to say “no”? Are you always trying to please others, fulfilling their requests—not because you want to—but because you’re not confident enough to say no!

Most of us do not like saying no to others. We feel uncomfortable about speaking our truth, afraid that we may be hurting someone’s feelings. Thoughts such as we’re ‘uncaring’ and ‘selfish’ can pop into our mind creating guilty feelings within. Sometimes we are scared to say no because we fear conflict may occur as a result of our decision, so we take on the extra commitments at the expense of our own wellbeing.

If you find it difficult to say no to requests, you are not alone. Most women find it very difficult to say no!

Saying “no” doesn’t mean that we are selfish or rude. It does mean we are truthful and honest with ourselves and that we value our time and our state of wellbeing.

It becomes easier to say no, when we learn the right way to say no.

Here are 5 statements which will help you to say no to requests that you do not want to undertake; tips that will help you have more control over your time and assist you to feel more comfortable about speaking up for yourself.

5 Power Statements

1 “Unfortunately, I can’t commit. I have a lot going on at the moment and I don’t have the time.”

That’s it. Stop there. You do not have to explain any further. You simply state the fact clearly—that you are not able to commit.

2 “Normally, I would love to help but …”

Using a softer approach as a response can work too. It’s a gentle way of letting people know that it is not possible this time. The important word in this type of statement is the word “but” as it leads you to explaining that you are unable to help.

3 “Let me think about it and I’ll get back to you.”

This is a great statement that buys you time! It’s useful particularly when you are unsure, indecisive—when you want to think about the proposal/request without rushing in; it’s also a helpful statement if you are feeling fearful and you just can’t come out with the word no!

4 “I’m unable to help you but you could try and contact …”

Recommending someone who might be interested in the task that is being asked of you, is helpful to the person making the request. They don’t feel completely let down if you’re able to offer an alternative solution.

5 “Sorry. I can’t.”

This is simple and direct. Again, you don’t need to explain why. If someone is persistent and insists on knowing ‘why,’ simply repeat the statement. “Sorry, but as I mentioned, I can’t.”

Other helpful phrases are:

“It’s not possible right now.”

“Thanks for thinking of me but at the moment my time is taken up with other commitments.”

“My workload is full. I’m can’t take on any extra tasks.”

There are times when you can partially commit to the task being asked of you. In this instance, an appropriate response would be:

“I can’t do … but I can do …”

The beauty of this reply is that you define your terms and clearly state what you are able to do within your timeframe.

Be Honest

If people ask you to commit to tasks or projects that you neither have time for or wish to do, being honest with them is always the best approach.

We all have commitments and whilst we would like to help people and be amenable, over-committing ourselves—because we are unable to say no—only makes us stressed, irritable and exhausted!

So, for the sake of our health and wellbeing there are times when we have to put ourselves first and apply self-love, self-care strategies.

There are times in our lives when we need to say no!